Indecision

Earlier this week there was a slight hiccup in ‘work’ and I admitted some responsibility saying ‘I’m not great at detail.’ I’ve said this phrase often as I see myself more as a ‘big picture’ type person.

At the end of the week I’m in my studio working meticulously on a painting- examining every line so that it flows. I even turn the canvas around so I can check the flow from different perspectives. I have spent more time on the detail of this painting than on the original concept. Now isn’t that interesting.

So why do I do this here in my studio. Firstly because I hope that whoever buys this piece will keep it for a long time and look at it often- stare at it, get lost in it, follow the lines, and enjoy it. If a line doesn’t flow their experience will be disrupted.  I want flow, the feeling of getting lost and found with this piece. A piece of art is not just something that you may have a for a few months and then discard, hopefully it will have a long life, and be viewed and loved by many. What’s also staring me in the face is that in this ‘work’, my art, I can do detail- this isn’t a weakness as I thought it was.

Indecision extract

This big beautiful painting is called ‘Indecision’- above is just an extract- perhaps a third of the whole thing. I started it a few weeks ago when I was at a bit of junction in my life, big decisions to make, and I wasn’t sure if I was making the right ones. This blank canvas started back at me and I just allowed whatever wanted to come out come out. This wasn’t my original intention. I was going to do a second painting in the same vein as my previous one, Blue Oracle, but the universe had other plans and out came this abstract.

Through painting this my indecision cleared to clarity. Perhaps that is why now the lines and flow are so important. Although the lines are interlinked and confused there is also a clarity about it. They aren’t fuzzy lines but clean and crisp. So now I sit here, stare at it, follow each line, to make sure it is perfect- when I’m not a perfectionist either! Hopefully it will be finished soon.

This painting, like many others, helped me work things through. The gift of artistic expression is a great thing for which I am grateful. It gives me balance, keeps me sane, reminds who I really am.

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